Health Update #2: "It is Well"

Andrew, his wife, Bailey, and their two sons, Jethro and Riggs on Easter Sunday, 2021.

Over the past few months, many have asked how I am doing. It may be surprising, but this is an incredibly difficult question to answer. My default is to communicate the positive. I don’t like attracting much attention, and I certainly don’t want to be dramatic (I am a Midwesterner, after all). Yet, the response of “I’m doing better” or “Things are generally going well” doesn’t seem to capture the reality my family and I are facing.

To answer this question, I may correctly state that things are overall going well. The transplant is moving forward, other organs are healthy apart from the kidney failure, and there is a hopeful prognosis for my disease. My family has been incredibly supportive and our church has been supernaturally loving. And no matter what happens to my physical body, my Lord has forgiven me of my numerous sins and has guaranteed me life everlasting. For these reasons and more, it is well with my soul.

And yet, to many people, stating that things are overall going well may communicate there is no more pain. That there are no more tears. That days of loneliness and despair are in our past. However, none of these are true. Daily, I am in pain like I’ve never felt before in my life. Each day is a 50/50 chance that I am depressed or that I end the day in tears. Many moments feel discouraging and lonely.

“Being a follower of Christ does not remove the pain and problems in our lives. However, being a follower of Christ does offer a hope in the midst of pain and problems in our lives.”

But I’ve come to realize this might be the definition of Christian suffering. Being a follower of Christ does not remove the pain and problems in our lives. However, being a follower of Christ does offer a hope in the midst of pain and problems in our lives. And it is this hope that allows our souls to sing, “Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul.”

This is how I am feeling these days. My lot in life over the last few months has been incredibly challenging and painful. The outlook on the next couple months does not seem much brighter. But that reality has not shaken my faith or my hope. On the contrary, God has taken my soul, lovingly, to a far better place than I was last fall.

Through suffering, tears, despair, pain, questions, frustrations, and groans, the Lord has shored up my faith. Places deep in my heart that were filled with pride, self-reliance, and the idolatry of productivity have been in many ways stripped away. Praise be to God that He, my good Father, has not allowed me to foolishly believe any longer that I am invincible. That I am strong on my own. That my body will provide for me all the desires of my heart.

My loving Father has humiliated me in order that He might kill the pride that has for so long filled my soul. He has made me utterly dependent on others so that He might painstakingly pry out the root system of self-reliance that controlled my life. He has brought me to an utter halt of any production, through which He might smash the idol of productivity that I worshiped and in which I found my identity. This is a painful work of discipline to be sure, but the work of a Father who loves me enough to do so.

In fact, while my body has grown far weaker, I can confidently declare that I am stronger today than I was six months ago. Of course I do not mean physically stronger, for I am as weak physically as I possibly have ever been. But as the Apostle Paul reminds us, the Lord’s “power is made perfect in weakness… For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9, 10).

“It is precisely in these moments of weakness that I have actually begun to experience true strength. ”

It is precisely in these moments of weakness that I have actually begun to experience true strength. As my body fades and falters, my strength is steady and sure. My faith today is stronger, my reliance today is deeper, and my hope today is greater. For this, I can confidently say, “It is Well.” My lot in life today may be suffering, but the Lord has graciously taught me to say, “It is Well.”

So, friends, I am doing well, which means: my body is painfully feeling the effects of a broken world, yet my soul is joyfully resting in the comfort of the Lord.

With all of that being said, over the next couple months, we would deeply appreciate continued prayers. I am recovering from a couple minor surgeries last week, and I will begin dialysis the second full week of April. Both recovery and dialysis are unknowns to us. We are hopeful that within a month I will experience fewer symptoms and feel physically better. Would you please pray that this would be so?

We are also still moving forward with the transplant process through UNMC. The next step is a two-day comprehensive health evaluation to see if I am an acceptable candidate for a transplant. If that goes well, and a living donor is a match, we are looking at a the transplant procedure happening this summer. Would you please pray that I would be accepted and that the transplant would happen early summer?

Lastly, through all of this process we consistently fight as a family for our trust to be in our Father and our confidence to be secure in His sovereignty. We are worn out in many ways, but we are filled with hope—for we know who is in control. Would you please pray that our souls would continue to trust in Him and continue to honestly sing, “It is Well”?

We love you all! Thank you for your continued support, care, and prayers.

Andrew